from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
