Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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