why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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