Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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