but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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