Porn is love you can see.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
