Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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