Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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