No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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