Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
