she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
