I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So squirting runs in the family.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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