so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
