im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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