the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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