hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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