He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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