All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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