After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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