Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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