Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize