That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize