you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
