I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
areolas are like halos for boobs.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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