You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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