508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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