The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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