Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
