Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
