Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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