I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My feet surprised me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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