just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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