He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
