you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
