Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I only lived at night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize