i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
