I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
