i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
