So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
