You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize