So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
wow bdsm is so cute
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
