I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
