...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize