somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
