Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
