I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
