so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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