MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
