a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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