she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
