you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
