her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
