What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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