her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i believe in u and ur pee
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
