i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
