Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if only i could text you this smell
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
