i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
