I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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