I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
