me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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