community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
