Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its not stalking. its research.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
