At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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