I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
