Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
